And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
