they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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