I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
