It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
