Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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