haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
