Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
