forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
