the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
