there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize