I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
