I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm really into asian looking animals
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
