Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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