He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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