Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
