another moral hangover. fuck.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
