3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
