i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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