Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
