Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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