its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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