Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
