My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
