listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
