Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The Olympian is in my bed
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
