No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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