everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
