Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The power of my boobs compel you
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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