So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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