Whats the glycemic index on semen?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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