dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
