This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize