Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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