I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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