Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize