no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
