thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
