i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
