i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
