I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
