Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
