too bad you live with your parents still
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
