I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
