Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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