I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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