I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
