ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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