Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
