Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
