did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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