Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I could make wine with my vomit
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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