You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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