I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
