it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize