I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
