I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
