it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
NoShamevember. You game?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
