could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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