Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dick very happy bro
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize