kristin has been a bad kristin
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize