69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
