I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
