White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
