Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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