isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
